KarlThe English Premier League Is Back!
…and So Is Your Seasonal Football-Induced Stress
Kicking Off Friday, 15 August 2025 |At The Long Hall
The beer is cold, the fixtures are hot, and your mate is already talking nonsense about how his team will win the league this year. Yep—it’s time. The 2025/26 Premier League season kicks off on Friday, 15 August, and we at The Long Hall are ready for 38 weeks of joy, rage, VAR-induced migraines, and shouting at players who can’t hear us.
Here’s a look at the top contenders—plus Manchester United.
Manchester City: Pep’s Cyborg Empire Reloads
They didn’t win the title last season (shock! horror!), which means Pep Guardiola has probably spent the summer locked in a mountain lab building tactical monsters and re-watching documentaries on 17th-century totalitarianism for inspiration.
Don’t be fooled—City are coming back angry. Erling Haaland is fully charged, Kevin De Bruyne is gone, and Pep is working on a formation that starts with no defenders, no midfielders, and 11 inverted full-backs.
Pub Prediction: 9-0 wins, 1-0 losses, and 25-minute tactical rants from your mate in a lime green third kit.
Drink pairing: A €20 cocktail—expensive, clinical, and almost annoyingly flawless.
Liverpool: Defending Champions (We Checked Twice)
Yes, you read that right. After a year of disbelief, Arne Slot’s Liverpool are champions of England. The Reds finished top of the table last season, and their fans haven’t shut up since. And why should they?
Salah’s still tormenting defenders, Van Dijk still heads everything within 30 feet, and Darwin Núñez still looks like he’s either scoring a worldie or hitting the beer taps in the corner. With new signings and even newer hope, they’re aiming to do it again.
Pub Prediction: Title charge or total collapse—no middle ground. Just vibes.
Drink pairing: A Guinness with a shot of espresso. Surprisingly effective. Could explode at any time.
Arsenal: “Trust the Process” – Year Six
Arteta’s still armed with a whiteboard, 17 centre-backs, and enough attacking midfielders to staff a small orchestra. Arsenal came second (again) last season and are back for more heartbreak.
Saka is still world-class. Declan Rice is everywhere at once. And somewhere, in a lab under the Emirates, scientists are still trying to figure out Kai Havertz’s best position.
Pub Prediction: Stunning football, dramatic meltdowns, and “next year’s our year” chants by February.
Drink pairing: A local craft IPA—tastes great, then suddenly flat halfway through the glass.
Manchester United: Emotionally Pre-seasoned
United enter the new campaign with high hopes, new promises, and a fresh load of managerial speculation. Bruno’s still dramatic, Rashford’s in Barcelona, and every pundit has predicted “a turning point year”—for the seventh season in a row.
The new owners are talking big. The fans are dreaming big. And the back four? Still giving us heart palpitations.
Pub Prediction: Three wins, one loss to Bournemouth, full-scale inquest.
Drink pairing: A double whiskey, neat. You’ll need it after the first defensive blunder.
So Where Will You Be?
Right here at The Long Hall, obviously—your home for Premier League drama, dodgy predictions, and pints pulled with more precision than VAR reviews.
Kicking Off Friday, 15 August 2025 |At The Long Hall
The beer is cold, the fixtures are hot, and your mate is already talking nonsense about how his team will win the league this year. Yep—it’s time. The 2025/26 Premier League season kicks off on Friday, 15 August, and we at The Long Hall are ready for 38 weeks of joy, rage, VAR-induced migraines, and shouting at players who can’t hear us.
Here’s a look at the top contenders—plus Manchester United.
Manchester City: Pep’s Cyborg Empire Reloads
They didn’t win the title last season (shock! horror!), which means Pep Guardiola has probably spent the summer locked in a mountain lab building tactical monsters and re-watching documentaries on 17th-century totalitarianism for inspiration.
Don’t be fooled—City are coming back angry. Erling Haaland is fully charged, Kevin De Bruyne is gone, and Pep is working on a formation that starts with no defenders, no midfielders, and 11 inverted full-backs.
Pub Prediction: 9-0 wins, 1-0 losses, and 25-minute tactical rants from your mate in a lime green third kit.
Drink pairing: A €20 cocktail—expensive, clinical, and almost annoyingly flawless.
Liverpool: Defending Champions (We Checked Twice)
Yes, you read that right. After a year of disbelief, Arne Slot’s Liverpool are champions of England. The Reds finished top of the table last season, and their fans haven’t shut up since. And why should they?
Salah’s still tormenting defenders, Van Dijk still heads everything within 30 feet, and Darwin Núñez still looks like he’s either scoring a worldie or hitting the beer taps in the corner. With new signings and even newer hope, they’re aiming to do it again.
Pub Prediction: Title charge or total collapse—no middle ground. Just vibes.
Drink pairing: A Guinness with a shot of espresso. Surprisingly effective. Could explode at any time.
Arsenal: “Trust the Process” – Year Six
Arteta’s still armed with a whiteboard, 17 centre-backs, and enough attacking midfielders to staff a small orchestra. Arsenal came second (again) last season and are back for more heartbreak.
Saka is still world-class. Declan Rice is everywhere at once. And somewhere, in a lab under the Emirates, scientists are still trying to figure out Kai Havertz’s best position.
Pub Prediction: Stunning football, dramatic meltdowns, and “next year’s our year” chants by February.
Drink pairing: A local craft IPA—tastes great, then suddenly flat halfway through the glass.
Manchester United: Emotionally Pre-seasoned
United enter the new campaign with high hopes, new promises, and a fresh load of managerial speculation. Bruno’s still dramatic, Rashford’s in Barcelona, and every pundit has predicted “a turning point year”—for the seventh season in a row.
The new owners are talking big. The fans are dreaming big. And the back four? Still giving us heart palpitations.
Pub Prediction: Three wins, one loss to Bournemouth, full-scale inquest.
Drink pairing: A double whiskey, neat. You’ll need it after the first defensive blunder.
So Where Will You Be?
Right here at The Long Hall, obviously—your home for Premier League drama, dodgy predictions, and pints pulled with more precision than VAR reviews.
- As many Premier League matches live as possible
- Cold beer and warm-hearted debates
- At least one person yelling “JUST HIT IT!” every 30 minutes
- United fans saying “it’s a rebuild season” again
Football’s back. Let the nonsense begin.
The Long Hall Pub – Pints, Passion & Premier League
Starts Friday, 15 August 2025
Come early, stay late, and bring your best overreactions. See you at kickoff.
The Long Hall Pub – Pints, Passion & Premier League
Starts Friday, 15 August 2025
Come early, stay late, and bring your best overreactions. See you at kickoff.